Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing

With a Foreword by Lisa Kudrow

 

By. Matthew “Chandler” Perry

August 19th, 1969 – October 29th, 2023

 

“Could you BE any more curious?”… These were the thoughts in my head when I heard of Chandler Bing’s – Sorry, habit – Matthew Perry’s memoir that was getting ready to come out. If you aren’t familiar with the show Friends, you may not get the references that I throw out in this post. However, I hope you take the time to read this because I truly didn’t think that this memoir was going to affect me in the way that it did. It’s truly amazing… 

 

If you aren’t familiar with this man, Matthew is most known for his performance in the sitcom Friends where he not only played the character Chandler Bing but Perry WAS Chandler Bing. I wouldn’t come to understand this until after reading Matthew Perry’s memoir. When he first read the script about how the character Chandler was supposed to be portrayed, Perry couldn’t even believe it himself how similar they truly were to each other. Matthew took his personal life, turned it into jokes we now laugh at, and there became Chandler Bing. 

I’m not going to sit here and tell you everything that was inside this masterpiece, for the sole purpose that I want you to read it. However, the way Perry not only explains his struggles with addiction, but explains the parts of addiction that us “normy” (that’s what people with alcohol use disorder call us average people) folk don’t understand is mind powering and eye opening. 

I have someone I love very much whom I’ve lost to addiction. She’s still here, just not mentally. I could never understand why she wouldn’t just listen to us and go to rehab. She never attended my high school graduation, nor my sisters. I couldn’t even allow her to attend my wedding. Not to mention she’s living god knows where.. I think of her a lot but I could never understand why that was more important. Frankly, I didn’t even think about her when I was getting ready to start this book because I thought it was just going to be a “tell all” about Matthew Perry and I would cry my eyes out. Man, was I wrong…. It made me view addiction and the disease in a completely different light.. 

This novel was truly something that I’ve never read before. It’s raw, it’s dark, and truthfully it makes you look at the show Friends very differently. Not in a bad way of course. Chandler will always be my favorite character and the show will always be one of my favorites. But the way Perry explains his struggles throughout the show, you’d never even know it.. And us viewers really didn’t.. To give you an insight on this, Perry states in the memoir that “only during season 9” was he completely sober. Which also so happens to be the year he won his very first Emmy award. The One Where Monica and Chandler Get Married, Perry was living in a rehab facility. I’m not sure which one it was at this point in time.. (there were MANY). 

I really thought I was going to be more emotional during this book only because of how much I loved Friends and how much I truly loved Chandler’s character. I even went so far as putting the name “Chandler” on my list of baby girl names in my phone app. However, the book didn’t take tears from me but instead took something else. If you’re worried about crying too much over Matthew Perry during this, think again. If anything, you may not tend to like him half the time. But by the end, he got me. I was in tears. 

I think the tears came because Perry didn’t expect to release a memoir about him being a recovering person with substance and drug abuse disorder, and then pass away months later due to drugs (which come to find out was NOT his fault and those people are currently on trial). It’s truly heartbreaking. Although, you almost get a sense of peace. Peace that Chandler isn’t struggling anymore, he is no longer in pain, and he’s no longer in a fighting battle with himself. I refer to him as Chandler here because that’s exactly who he was. You’ll understand this in Matthew Perry’s memoir as well. 

If you’ve been on the fence with reading this, I’m telling you right now to read it. I was in the same position you are. I thought I was going to cry so much that it wasn’t going to be worth it. But just trust me, it is. 

Lastly, I know this might be silly but I want to thank Matthew Perry for giving me some of the loudest laughs at my TV screen and for sacrificing yourself for all of us. You truly were (and will always be) one of the funniest men alive. But more importantly, not only did you give us Chandler Bing, but you gave us the real Matthew Perry without us even realizing it. And for that you’ll always be a hero, Batman.. 

 

Click here to read Matthew Perry’s Memoir – Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing 

For more book reviews and recommendations, click the link here: My Library

Follow my socials for more book content!

Instagram 📸: @lifecanbeshady 

Facebook : Life Can Be Shady

Pinterest : @lifecanbeshady

Youtube : @lifecanbeshadyy

Threads : @lifecanbeshady

Amazon : Amazon Store Front